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The California Men’s Centers began as the San Diego Men’s Center in late 2004. Within five years we hope to have centers in other locations in California. Hence, the generic California Men’s Centers. The Center offers information, referral, mediation preparation, individual coaching, support groups, and DNA paternity testing. For a complete list see our “Services” page. NOTE: We are not attorneys and do not give legal advice.
We are supported entirely by private funding, mostly individual donations. We have no desire to seek federal or state grants which if secured would necessarily make us part of the problem rather than part of the solution. Even if organizations such as ours could get state funding anti-male sentiment drives the funding sources, allocating legislation, and provision of services.
Men are discriminated against, especially in westernized societies. Consequently, a plethora of various services exist for almost any group other than men, particularly heterosexual men, their families, and the women that love them.
For example, California prohibits the use of state funds to provide services for heterosexual males and male children over the age of 12 who are victims of domestic violence. This example readily shows the depth of System discrimination against males even when young and abused.
When talking about the California Men’s Center San Diego numerous people have asked if it’s a gay rights organization, which it is not, except in terms of equal rights for men, all men, regardless of sexual orientation.
In fact, the primary focus of the Men’s Center is helping men, their families, and the women that love them, though we encourage others to become actively involved. Consequently we started a Second Spouses Club primarily for women. Many gays and lesbians are confronted with discordant child custody; paternity, abuse, and related issues and we welcome their participation as well. It’s interesting that so many people associate the word men with being gay, as if heterosexual men and their issues are simply not worth considering.
We will help anyone seeking our services within our ability and
resources; however, we reserve the right to refuse services to anyone.
The Men’s Center intends to fill voids in the provision of community services with innovative services and programs, not replicate established ones. People seeking Men’s Center services will be referred to established service providers as applicable and appropriate at the sole discretion of the Men’s Center.
Ask yourself, “Why raise our sons to be disposable?”
NOTE: Nothing in this website is legal advice. If you need legal advice consult with an attorney well experienced in applicable field of law. If you need a family law attorney find experienced in family law attorneys.
Los Angeles/July 29, 2010 - On July 28, 2010, the California Supreme Court declined to review a decision from the Third District Court of Appeal in San Diego, California that upheld an order forcing a Hari Wilburn to pay tens of thousands of dollars in child support for a child that is not his, even though DNA excludes him as the biological father and he never acted as the father. On August 17, 2010, at 9:30 a.m., the probate court in Department 2 of the San Diego Superior Court will hear the mother’s request to intercept Mr. Wilburn’s inheritance from his deceased mother in order to pay the child support order from 1991. (Hari Wilburn v. Cathy Tate.)
Mr. Wilburn was represented at the appellate level by attorney Marc E. Angelucci of the Men’s Legal Center, who founded the Los Angeles chapter of the National Coalition For Men (”NCFM”). NCFM, a nonprofit organization that addresses the ways sex discrimination affects men and boys and helped change California law in 2005 to help protect men from false paternity claims, supported Mr. Wilburn’s appeal and denounces the injustice of forcing the wrong persons to pay support.
In 1991, Cathy Tate named Mr. Wilburn as the father of her five-year-old child Alexis in a restraining order proceeding in San Diego. Mr. Wilburn, who was homeless, was never personally served and there is no record of any service except by mail to Mr. Wilburn’s mother’s address, which is not legally proper. Nonetheless, the court found Mr. Wilburn was served, issued a restraining order and ordered Mr. Wilburn to pay child support. Mr. Wilburn was not present in the court hearing.
Seventeen years later, in 2008, Ms. Tate asked the probate court to intercept tens of thousands of dollars Mr. Wilburn was about to inherit from his deceased mother, based on the 1991 support order. Mr. Wilburn’s family tracked down 22 year old Alexis and asked her to take a DNA test, which excluded Mr. Wilburn as Alexis’ biological father. Mr. Wilburn’s family hired an attorney, who filed a motion challening the child support order. Alexis signed a sworn declaration stating Mr. Wilburn never acted as her father and that she only saw him a few times in her life. The San Diego Superior Court denied the motion, ruling Mr. Wilburn should have challenged the order sooner, despite the fact that he was homeless and living under a bridge. On appeal, the Third District Court of Appeal upheld the order on the same grounds, and the California Supreme Court declined review.
“This is totally unjust,” said Angelucci. “It is wrong for the courts to force a man to pay child support for a child that is not his, especially where he never acted as the child’s father, like in Mr. Wilburn’s case.”
According to the American Association of Blood Banks, 30 percent of DNA paternity tests nationwide turn out negative. “That’s out of about 300,000 tests per year nationwide,” said Angelucci. “In raw numbers that amounts to at least 100,000 negative results per year in the U.S., and that’s only the men who get tested. So this is a serious, under addressed problem.”
Wilburn v. Tate appellate decision
“Who Knew I Was Not the Father?” by Ruth Padawer
Harry CrouchPresident, National Coalition For MenIMPORTANT:The National Coalition For Men (NCFM - www.ncfm.org ) is qualified to accept donations from United States government and military personnel worldwide through the “International” Combined Federal Campaign (http://www.opm.gov/cfc/). If you are a U.S. Federal employee please consider donating to NCFM. Our CFC# is 17785, please pass it on. If you are not a federal employee please encourage your federal employee friends and acquaintances to donate to NCFM through the CFC.Join NCFM on facebook http://facebook.ncfm.org - and pass it around so others can join too!Dedicated to men, their families, children, and the women who love them.California Men’s Center is primarily funded by donations from individuals and by the National Coalition for Men (NCFM). There is no paid staff. All donations help. Your donation can made by Internet by clicking on this DONATE. NCFM-SD is a tax exempt 501(c)3 organization - or go to http://tinyurl.com/559zjt (you may have to cut and paste that into your browser)Call us for help with your child custody dispute. We provide Family Court Services mediation prepartion too. Need a paternity test or information about paternity fraud? Go to PaternityFraudDNA.com. Read the story to understand the full impact of paternity fraud.
A judge finds a man was wrongly fired. A federal agency agrees to hire him back conditional to a background check. He has bad credit.
Said differently, a man was wrongly fired several years ago from a federal agency. Because the man was wrongly fired he gets behind in his child support payments. Because he’s behind in his child support payments the child support enforcement agency dings his credit report. A condition of being rehired is to pass a background check which requires that he has good credit.
In sum, the judge’s order to remedy the wrongful termination is trumped by the man’s bad credit which was caused by the wrongful termination.
Is it possible that such idiocy is accidental? Just some incidental whoops from an ill conceived plan from the well meaning? I guess the blind leading the blind might see it that way dragging the Empress with no cloths to a royal orgy of the misandric intellectually impaired. But I’m not that generous. Call me one of those stupid conspiracy nuts if you wish, but I think such idiocy is simply one of many tools by design to disenfranchise men to facilitate the transfer of power, control, and wealth primarily from those who create and earn it to those who don’t. It’s simply not possible for smart people to allow such things without intent.
“During her divorce proceedings, Bonnie repeatedly claimed that Doug Richardson was the father of her child, but the child told Doug that Bonnie stated that Abraham Flores was his real father. The court refused Doug’s request for a continuance to obtain counsel to assist in contesting paternity. The Michigan Court of Appeals affirmed. A paternity test excluded Doug as a possible father of the child. Bonnie resumed living with Abraham, but Doug was forced to pay child support into the household of the child’s real father. Later, Bonnie and Abraham broke up with a formal change of custody from Bonnie to Abraham. The Michigan State Court ordered Doug, the nonfather, to pay child support directly to Abraham, the biological father…”
After 20 years of state persecution, coercion, and intimidation Doug’s child support account was fully paid and closed. Even so his wages were subsequently garnished. The Michigan Grievance Commission and Federal Bureau of Investigation are now involved but Doug feels he needs to do more. He’s going to walk from Bay City, Michigan to Washington D.C. in protest of such corruption and hopes to meet with President Obama.
Doug estimates that he can walk 25 miles a day and his trek will take 25 days. He’ll carry a small sleeping tent, cell-phone, small quantities of food and a few small bottles of propane to fuel a small heater for the tent.
Doug has some local media coverage from start to finish but needs more and interest from CNN. So if you can help him by arranging newspaper, television, radio or Internet interviews it will help cause a buzz that could facilitate a meeting with the President.
For those of you close to his route you might want to contact him at the email address below and see how you can help.
I’m sure Doug would appreciate the support. Send him an email and see how you can help: firstname.lastname@example.org
By Harry Crouch (published Wednesday, December 31, 2008 in the Capitol Weekly, Sacramento, CA)
Malcolm Maclachlan’s insightful January 1, 2009 article “Family Law Task Force getting flak for recruitment, ‘insider’ panelists” was timely and well said.
Nationally the Family Law (Divorce) Industry’s devastating impact on families reportedly costs as much as the Iraq war, over $120 billion a year. Stakeholders can ill afford to lose control of the legal processes that ensure such treasure. Only the naïve would expect the Judicial Council to appoint other than “insiders” to the Elkins Family Law Task Force. However, to the Judicial Council’s credit, men and women adversely impacted by Family Court were asked to participate through focus groups…
NOTE: in the last paragraph it says “Family Courts and domestic violence police units in King County, Washington, were recently closed to save money.” This is not correct and the line was suppose to have been deleted prior to publishing the article.
In 1990 Senate hearings Vice Presidential candidate Senator Joseph Robinette Biden revealed,
“In my house, being raised with a sister and three brothers, there was an absolute - it was a nuclear sanction, if under any circumstances, for any reason, no matter how justified, even self-defense - if you ever touched your sister, not figuratively, literally. My sister, who is my best friend, my campaign manager, my confidante, grew up with absolute impunity in our household… And I have the bruises to prove it. I mean that sincerely. I am not exaggerating when I say that.”
Like so many chivalrous male victims Biden defends his abusers even having suffered “nuclear sanction”. I say “abusers” because someone in his immediate family other than his sister must have rendered the mushrooming catastrophic punishments. Even so, Sister Valerie Biden Owens had “absolute impunity” giving her license to abuse at will without fear of penalty.
Valerie’s “absolute impunity” tragically lives through VAWA. For example, now infamous Mary Winkler recently escaped the death penalty and long term imprisonment murdering her husband Mathew by shooting him in the back. Wrenched with pain it took Mathew 20 minutes to die. Mary watched, made no effort to call 911, and later played “the abuse excuse” card, even though other than her testimony there was no evidence to support her claims of being abused. Matthew Winkler’s oldest daughter, Patricia, said her father was a good man and did not abuse her mother. Now free, the Courts even gave Winkler custody of her children, thereby denying their understandable wish to live with their grandparents rather than the woman who murdered their father in cold blood.
Regardless of danger victims of Sweden’s 1973 Norrmalmstorg bank robbery showed loyalty to their hostage-takers, a psychological process now known as the Stockholm Syndrome. Long after Patty Hurst’s abduction by the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA) she told Larry King during an interview that,
“You have been so abused and so robbed of your free will and so frightened that you believe - you come to a point where you believe any lie your abductor has told you.”
Could it be that Biden is a sympathetic hostage turned true believer to an abusive past exploited by those he considers like-minded allies; here, trusted family members and misandric, ideologically driven, Domestic Violence Industry (DV Industry) stakeholders dependent upon VAWA dollars and other taxpayer funding?
Errin Pizzey is generally credited as the founder of the domestic violence movement, as well as opening the first women’s shelter, the Chiswick Women’s Refuge, in London in 1971. She soon realized there were as many violent women as there were men, a fact now proven by a plethora of worldwide research, as found in California State University’s Professor Martin Fiebert’s bibliography of over 170 academic studies and published papers. There is no reliable data to the contrary - none, regardless of DV Industry propaganda.
Three years before President Clinton signed Biden’s VAWA bill into law Pizzey explained in David Thomas’ book Not Guilty: the Case in Defense of Men (1993) the reason the women’s movement resists recognizing abused men:
“There’s a lot of money inhating men, particularly in the United States–millions of dollars. Itisn’t a politically good idea to threaten the huge budgets for women’srefuges by saying that some of the women who go into them aren’t totalvictims. Anyway, the activists aren’t there to help women come to termswith what’s happening in their lives. They’re there to fund their budgets,their conferences, their traveling abroad, and their statements against men” (Thomas, pp. 186-87).
In one of my recent e-mails a DV Industry victim put it this way when explaining to another DV Industry victim how things work under VAWA and his continuing DV Industry saga,
“You are beyond that point and the Court System/Victim Industry is completely sold out to women’s advocates, you (as a man) have no sanctuary or friends in the SYSTEM, not even the ones you hire. No “therapist/counselors” make enough money doing evaluations to keep their BUSINESS going. They are all members of the United Way/VAWA/DV feed trough….. Any buckling with that party line and that therapist would be kicked to the curb faster than John Edwards after a hot date.”
VAWA largess feeds tens of thousands of attorneys, including even public defenders creating an instant conflict of interest. The money directly or indirectly creates thousands of extremely well paid, comprehensive benefits, early retirement, soft-jobs in Family Justice Centers, child support services conglomerates, child visitation centers, child abuse consortiums, animal shelters (for victims with pets that witnessed the alleged abuse), juvenile dependency courts, police departments, and a plethora of other employers, largely governments and nonprofit organizations, all dependent upon buckling to the party line.
So, (1) by his own admission Biden may have grown up in an abusive home (2) his sister had impunity from any abuse she committed (3) she is one of Biden’s closest advisors and high ranking feminist operative (4) VAWA and the Domestic Violence Industries are primarily driven by the quest for more money - power and control (5) there are arguably as many or more abused men than women (6) someone’s lying.
Lie: “false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.”
DV Industry operatives knew early on that as many or more men were abused by women than women by men. Yet, imperative to the success of the feminist movement was the lie that all men were perpetrators and all women victims.
Lesbian researcher and scholar Janice Ristock in her landmark work “No More Secrets: Violence in Lesbian Relationships” (2002) noted that “…we were often worried about causing more harm to lesbians and to feminism by speaking about the issue to publicly.” Sixty-six percent of the lesbians in Ristock’s survey responded that they knew lesbians who had been in abusive relationships. (Page X). Ristock observed that,
“Within the women’s movement, there have been two main forms of resistance to examining abuse in lesbian relationships: one stems from the desire to keep a focus on male violence, thereby minimizing women’s violence; the other arises from the fear that this issue will create a backlash against feminism and lesbians. The ideology that only men were violent was adopted by the radical feminist culture of the 1970’s… Perhaps the biggest source of resistance from feminist communities in general is that acknowledging lesbian abuse will threaten a dominant feminist analysis of violence against women in intimate relationships, which most often assumes a male perpetrator…” (Pages 3-5).
Obviously women-to-women violence brings into question radical feminist theories blaming everything from scratchy toilet paper to global warming on patriarchy and misogyny.
Aside from fears of revealing lesbian-on-lesbian violence radical feminists had to silence activists like Errin Pizzey. In 1982, Pizzey and Jeff Shapiro coauthored the book Prone to Violence, about abusive and violent women. Pizzey reported that the book enraged feminists to the extent that her life was threatened.
“Two years after my initial study of family violence, the American Sociological Association included a session on “Family Violence” as part of the association’s annual meeting program. This was the first time this scholarly association had devoted precious meeting time and space to this topic… uninvited, I went to the session anyway… Much of the session focused on the application of feminist theory, or patriarchy theory, to explaining the extent and patterns of violence towards wives… eventually someone raised the question of whether men were victims of domestic violence. The session leaders and many others in the group stated, categorically, there were no male victims of domestic violence… I explained that I had indeed interviewed men and women who reported significant and sometimes severe violence toward husbands…
In order to build a more solid knowledge base and understanding of family violence, my colleagues Murray Straus and Suzanne Steinmetz and I conducted the First National Family Violence Survey in 1976. The survey interviewed a nationally representative sample of 2,143 individual family members… The most controversial finding… was that the rate of adult female-to-adult male intimate violence was the same as the rate of male-to-female violence. Not only that, but the rate of abusive female-to-male violence was the same as the rate of abusive male-to-female violence. When my colleague Murray Straus presented these findings in 1977 at a conference on the subject of battered women, he was nearly hooted and booed from the stage… my colleague Suzanne Steinmetz published a scholarly article, “The battered husband syndrome,” in 1978…
The response to our finding that the rate of female-to-male family violence was equal to the rate of male-to-female violence not only produced heated scholarly criticism, but intense and long-lasting personal attacks. All three of us received death threats. Bomb threats were phoned in to conference centers and buildings where we were scheduled to present. Suzanne received the brunt of the attacks-individuals wrote and called her university urging that she be denied tenure; calls were made and letters were written to government agencies urging that her grant finding be rescinded. All three of us became” non persons” among advocates. Invitations to conferences dwindled and dried up. Advocacy literature and feminist writing would cite our research, but not attribute it to us. Librarians publicly stated they would not order or shelve our books.”
Clearly, the preservation of the myth upon which VAWA was based - only men perpetrate violence and only women are victims - was so central to DV Industry and radical feminist operatives that they committed terrorist acts against those expressing contrary views. Additionally, these violent operatives well knew that woman-to-woman violence was common.
Lie in one’s throat or teeth: to lie grossly or maliciously: If she told you exactly the opposite of what she told me, she must be lying in her teeth. Also, lie through one’s teeth.”
To believe that Biden and his staff did not understand the truth prior to championing VAWA in 1994 is to believe that they are not just ignorant, but stupid, which they are not. He and his staff have received hundreds if not thousands of letters, e-mails, and other communications from respected individuals, scholars and organizations explaining that both men and women can be perpetrators and victims of domestic violence. Associates of mine have told me about private conversations with Biden concerning VAWA and abused men. One associate was even in the Constitutional Law class Biden taught at Widener University School of Law in which related issues were discussed. Educational materials have been hand carried to Biden’s Washington D.C. offices. So, if Biden’s not ignorant or stupid what is he? And, why is he so strongly against helping abused men? Why does he perpetuate the lie, even if only by omission and misrepresentation?
Could it really be as simple as growing up in an abusive home? If so, who in the home delivered the “nuclear sanctions”? Is he projecting some hidden shame? Is it mere chivalry? Is his sister pulling his strings re VAWA? Like Patty Hearst has he been brainwashed to believe the lies of his youth and political captors? Or, along with one or more of those possibilities is Biden simply a political opportunist who sold his soul a long time ago to radical feminism in return for their support to higher political office than the Senate? Who knows? I don’t, but he clearly has little or no regard for the untold thousands of families, men, women, and children devastated by arguably one of the most debilitating pieces of legislation ever signed into law, VAWA, even if he’s a true believer in DV Industry hyperbole.
“The domestic violence industry is one of the most corrupt and unaccountable enterprises in modern-day America. Every year it sucks over $1 billion from the federal treasury and ships the money to a variety of radical feminist organizations dedicated to revamping the family unit… the Violence Against Women Act, domestic violence programs encourage women to file false allegations, strip fit fathers of their natural right to parent, and doom kids to live in a single-parent household…”
Robert’s sentiments are confirmed by a host of others including the highly regarded international organization Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting (RADAR) and it’s over 70 co-sponsoring organizations from around the world. For over two years RADAR has been investigating and reporting on VAWA and the devastating impact of this truly ill conceived and corrupt legislation.
In a series of investigative reports RADAR found that (1) VAWA funds immigration fraud costs the American taxpayers $170 million a year (2) VAWA funded programs were riddled with malfeasance and mismanagement with some workers earning well over $100,000 per year (3) over a million false restraining orders are issued each and every year - the latter of which turns untold numbers of extended families into wrecking ball rubble.
“The real purpose of restraining orders is not so much to prevent violence as to eliminate one parent during divorce proceedings. This is now common knowledge in legal circles.”
Elaine Epstein, former president of the Massachusetts Women’s Bar Association, writes that
“[A]llegations of abuse are now used for tactical advantage” in divorce courts and that restraining orders are doled out like candy. Everyone knows that restraining orders and orders to vacate are granted to virtually all who apply… the facts have become irrelevant.”
The NDVVAA would have provided tens of millions of dollars to DV Industry operatives for training 100,000 attorneys to help abused women; that is, instill into the attorneys psyche anti-male radical feminist ideology. Fully supported by the horrendously pro-women and anti-male American Bar Association the NDVVAA would have been a huge boon to DV Industries, including creating jobs for new feminist warrior attorneys armed with undergraduate degrees in women studies; or, more aptly, WoMEN StuDIEs.
It was reported by a Congressional staffer to RADAR representatives that the defeat of the NDVVAA was a first; that generally any pro-women legislation sails through with overwhelming partisan support.
The situation in the Czech Republic reminded me of attending volunteer training for President Bush’s first Family Justice Center which opened in San Diego a few years back. About a dozen senior Czech judges were touring the new facility. I believe Ms. Gael Strack, Center Director, chaperoned. She began introducing the various judges to the several of us in the training session as well as to the trainers. I was last to be introduced. Gael cleared her throat, thought how best to introduce me, and said something like, “And this is Harry Crouch - men’s rights advocate, and President of the San Diego Chapter of the National Coalition of Free Men.”
The one male judge in the group said something indiscernible in Czech, developed a tremendously broad smile, rose on tiptoes high above his shorter female counterparts, extended his arm as high as he could stretch it, enthusiastically waived back and forth a thumbs-up like he’d just discovered a long lost best friend was still alive, and loudly proclaimed, “RIGHT ON!” Everyone gasped, chuckled, laughed, and for the briefest of time our opposing views wondrously blended with humanity across geographic and ideological boundaries.
Moving on, if Biden has his way gender inclusive programs like Ghana’s will be dead before they have a chance to spread meaningful solutions throughout the world. Last year Biden introduced the “groundbreaking” International Violence Against Women Act offering to export even more destruction.
Biden is passionate about his blatant gender bias. Listen to his “End Domestic Violence” speach found at the bottom of the page at “On a more personal note” in which Biden loudly babbles,
“If I could change the attitudes of anyone I wouldn’t change the attitudes of men - but women, to understand that no man has the right to raise his hand to any woman under any circumstances - any, none, none, none, NONE!”
I’d like to see Biden explain that to the abused men I work with almost every day, including a man who was getting ready to go on a motorcycle ride with his brother, sister-in-law, and friend when his Karate trained wife stormed in with closed fist and landed a haymaker to his chin, pushed him against a wall, kneed him five times in the groin, and left deep cuts and welts on his neck and face when trying to gouge out his eyes. Culturally brainwashed like Biden and the rest of us guys, he did not hit her, though had he done so he may not have been so seriously injured. She was arrested, not prosecuted, and received no sanctions whatsoever - typical. The San Diego City Attorney’s Office found witness declarations not credible. Both his brother and sister-in-law are highly respected medical doctors. His brother also has a law degree. Both witnessed the beating and submitted their “not credible” declarations. Had the roles been reversed the husband might now be in prison, all thanks to VAWA and ilk.
While it’s a stretch, under the circumstances I wonder how Biden would feel about a male soldier taking down a female suicide bomber to stop mass murder, a worse form of domestic violence for sure.
How about woman-on-woman violence? If you read Ristock you discover such wicked women are really creative in their forms of abuse, disgustingly so. How come we don’t hear Biden passionately saying “…no woman has the right to raise her hand to any woman under any circumstances - any, none, none, none, NONE!” Or, no woman has the right to raise her hand to a man, a child… How come he doesn’t talk about that if he’s truly interested in ending domestic violence? How come, indeed?
Shouldn’t we change the attitudes of everyone - men, women, Biden and ilk - to understand that no person has the right to raise his hand to anyone else except in self-defense, regardless of gender? Indeed, we should.
Oh, and the National Organization of Women’s (NOW) Defense and Education Fund, their legal advocacy organization dedicated to advancing the rights of women and girls, along with NOW proper, apparently wrote VAWA. Biden championed the monster after his staff drafted the misandric work into a piece of legislation. He is not the author of VAWA as he claims; only the royal messenger turned chivalrous champion; or, fool, to the substantial detriment of humankind.
Fool-noun (1) a person who lacks judgment or sense (2) a person who has been tricked or deceived into appearing or acting silly or stupid: to make a fool of someone (3) an ardent enthusiast who cannot resist an opportunity to indulge an enthusiasm: He’s usually a dancing fool.
Biden doesn’t get it - violence is not gender specific. And, he may yet become President. Dance on Mr. Biden, dance on…
Men’s Rights Activist
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CLINTON â€” Teamwork has played a major part in helping Sampson Countyâ€™s Department of Social Services collect millions of dollars in child support payments over the years. It has also helped reach or go beyond the departmentâ€™s goal for the past two consecutive years.